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The tale of CMPUnk3000's love of good dance music is a long and tedious one. So here's the short, kick-ass version. Among other things, Punk has an extensive police record. Punk has also been known to get random children in headlocks at "The Green Burrito". But these were just moderately annoying personality quirks. His real problem, the dilema that was killing him and everyone he loved, was his taste in music. He was a prisoner to the sound of one band and would listen to no other. And that band was The Spin Doctors. A slave was he, so he turned to drugs. He focused hard on his constant drug abuse, and soon everything became clear. He claims to have achieved "enlightenment" one night after injesting an ungodly ammount of exstacy with a one-legged prostitute in a bowling alley. But whatever the misdemeanor, this is when Punk'a love for music was born. With his newly found passion, and facial tick, he immediately set out to experience music from every part of the world. From pubs in Ireland, to opium dens of Asia, to the weed spots on Sunset blvd, he absorbed music of all cultures on many levels of consiousness that would make the average man piss himself. In his zest for the constant party though, there were sacrifices along the way. While raving in Khazakstan, at a venue outside Tibet, a blizzard caused a premature end to the fun, leaving Punk and a group of ravers standed for more than 3 days. They were all rescued safely, but unfortunately to survive, they were forced to eat their sherpa. On returning to the states having completed his quest, Punk knew it was time to let the musical fornication begin. He set up a memorial to those who had lost their lives along the way, and named his goldfish Took-Took, after the ill-fated, yet delicious sherpa. The timing was right. So after hitting the corner for a hummer, he knew it was time to zip up and make dance music. So enjoy the tunes. The only thing CMPunk3000 asks for in return is a beer. ......and your sister. Fuck roebling After that... who needs an encore... just ask? |
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