The tale of CMPUnk3000's love of good dance music is a long and tedious one. So here's the short, kick-ass
version. Among other things, Punk has an extensive police record. Punk has also been known to get random
children in headlocks at "The Green Burrito".
But these were just moderately annoying personality quirks.
His real problem, the dilema that was killing him and everyone he loved, was his taste in music. He
was a prisoner to the sound of one band and would listen to no other.
And that band was The Spin Doctors.
A slave was he, so he turned to drugs. He focused hard on his constant drug abuse, and soon everything
became clear.
He claims to have achieved "enlightenment" one night after injesting an ungodly ammount
of exstacy with a one-legged prostitute in a bowling alley. But whatever the misdemeanor, this is when
Punk'a love for music was born.
With his newly found passion, and facial tick, he immediately set out
to experience music from every part of the world. From pubs in Ireland, to opium dens of Asia, to the
weed spots on Sunset blvd, he absorbed music of all cultures on many levels of consiousness that would
make the average man piss himself.
In his zest for the constant party though, there were sacrifices
along the way. While raving in Khazakstan, at a venue outside Tibet, a blizzard caused a premature
end to the fun, leaving Punk and a group of ravers standed for more than 3 days.
They were all rescued
safely, but unfortunately to survive, they were forced to eat their sherpa. On returning to the states
having completed his quest, Punk knew it was time to let the musical fornication begin.
He set up a
memorial to those who had lost their lives along the way, and named his goldfish Took-Took, after the
ill-fated, yet delicious sherpa.
The timing was right. So after hitting the corner for a hummer,
he knew it was time to zip up and make dance music. So enjoy the tunes. The only thing CMPunk3000 asks
for in return is a beer.
......and your sister. Fuck roebling After that... who needs an encore... just
ask?